Don't Want To Grow Up!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

/ 2:07 PM

All is Fair in Love and War

Whatever....

Friday, August 29, 2008

/ 4:22 AM

The Group Mentality

Man always had a desire to belong. A need to be assimiliated into higher order. To be a part of something. So they organized civilization, nations, religion, interest groups, organizations, secret societies, fraternities, sororities.

But only recently have I realized how all this is. Why should I belong to a part of anything when I can belong to myself? I will never look at any group with awe or jealousy again, wishing to be one of them because it's meaningless. I've never had respect for groups like that, only individuals. Yes. I only respect individuals, because individuals have the power to change things, not groups. A group may follow the decisions of one individual because that individual made a choice.

I dislike being in big groups.

/ 1:32 AM

Rudolf's Hilariously Stupid Movie Reviews

A list of reviews for movies which I did (And some friends too).

300: A movie about the highest PSLE aggregrate in Singapore.

Letters From Iwo Jima: A movie about a boy called Iwo Jima who got bored and sent random letters to people.

Home Alone: A movie about a house which sits alone in a corner.

Die Hard: A movie about dying with an erection.

No Country For Old Men: A movie about a country which supports Euthanasia.

xXx: A movie about the X-men.

Mission Impossible: A movie about learning Chinese.

The Drew Carey Show: A show about Drew Barrymore and Jim Carrey's kid.

Predator: About child molesters.

Aliens vs Predator: About Mexicans and child molesters.

The Day After Tomorrow: A movie about the day after tomorrow; AKA The Day After, Next Next Day, or Sunday.

Thats all for now....=/

Sunday, August 24, 2008

/ 6:07 AM

You're a Cheebye

The hip crowd - something I'll always have an aversion for.

You are the exact opposite, always aiming to be in the hip crowd, wanting the attention, wanting to be "surrounded by chicks" as you used to say because you never got yourself a girl ever in your whole life.... And you'll do anything, including selling out your friends, putting on a fake front, but no matter how many people you meet, as long as they have some sense in them, they'll soon realize how shallow of a friend you are.

You once enjoyed showing off your friends, and it was disappointing to know how some nice people I knew were hanging out with a low life like you. But where are they now? Your friends are always changing and you group is always different. I always see you alone nowadays too. That just might mean that you're a cheebye, and nobody likes you for very long, realizing how much of a superficial friend you are within a matter of months; and for me, a matter of years because of my sheer naivety back then.

You love to use big English words. Does using big words make you feel like you are more intelligent? Any idiot with a dictionary can use big words.

You love to make it seem as if you have many friends. Which are the friends that count? The ones which you meet for a couple of hours, and then hurriedly searched for on facebook/friendster to be requested as a friend online?

The girls you go after, you say are winning candidates for your exquisite tastes in women. It's hard to believe that any of your tastes are exquisite when you only take things at face value.

You think you're such a diva at music. HAH, don't even make me start.

But of all things, why should anyone use their friends as mere stepping blocks? Why should anyone be give authority to control others? Why should anyone make choices for anyone else? The one thing no one must ever have claim to, the power over the freewill of others, why should anyone be allowed to make use of others?

Friday, August 22, 2008

/ 3:17 AM

A Jumble of Music Theory for Bass
Let's say we play a C major arpeggio in the style of sequential arppeggios, tapped in the below position:

(tabbed)
G----------------------------------------------12(G)---
D-----------------------------10(C)----14(E)-----------
A----------------------10(G)---------------------------
E------8(C)---12(E)-----------------------------------

Therefore, C will be your Root note, the 1st, making 2 sets of sequential triads in adjacent octaves.

G----------------------------------------------12(G)---
D-----------------------------10(C)----14(E)-----------(Beginning of 2nd Octave)
A----------------------10(G)---------------------------
E------8(C)---12(E)-----------------------------------(Beginning of 1st Octave)

However, if we change the root note to the major 3rd of C, which is E,

G----------------------------------------------12(G)---
D-----------------------------10(C)----14(E)-----------
A----------------------10(G)---------------------------
E------8(C)---12(E)-----------------------------------

If E becomes root note, then G would be the minor 3rd, and C would be the minor 6th, making the arpeggio an E min 6 arpeggio.

=/

Monday, August 18, 2008

/ 3:16 AM

Maybe I'm Homophobic After All

Fear......

Feaaaar...................

Insanity................................

Friday, August 15, 2008

/ 3:40 AM

Chug
I've often believed that trust is something which is earned.
And respect is the same.
And love is the same.

Freedom is something else altogether.
It is grasped on realization.
Freedom is something realized when you discard trust, respect, and love. From then on, its like running back into the wild. Tame animals are tame because they place some amount of trust, respect, and love in their masters. And wild ones run free.

But, like in The Little Prince, there was once a fox who wanted to be tamed. It wanted to feel the joy of trusting someone. I now know that the price one must pay, is freedom. And freedom is all that matters.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

/ 2:32 AM

Fire in the Sky
I used to love planes a lot. I trusted planes, and planes must be trusted by pilots. Vehicles of freedom and liberation, what other vehicle can compare to metal birds carried by flames, surfing onto the final frontier? It will take you where you wish, trust it. Trust the flight because it will take you anywhere.

There is one thing, however, that you cannot trust. And that is the sky. A pilot loves his plane because he loves the sky; he loves his plane because it can take him anywhere in the sky. But as he learns to pilot his plane, he will realize that the sky cannot be trusted.

An Icarus stared into the hypnotizing awe of the afternoon sun and down he plunged and died. A man once flew a plane into the sea because it held the sky's reflection, and he died. Trust your wings, but don't trust the sky. Never. Love your plane, but be wary of the sky. Always.

Some men love the sky very much, and they desire so much to remain above the the clouds amongst the cold, strong winds. And they will die, because they can never remain in the sky forever. Even birds will return to the earth, their wings are but a temporary passport to freedom. What goes up, must come down. And all things mundane remain on the earth. The things of the sky will always remain an exception, they will never be of this world, therefore they remain above us all. Visit it you may, but remain and you will crash and burn.

The sky as always, an illusion. One may look at it from the ground and wonder what dreams it could hold. Such beauty will easily fool you, for in this beauty, what life can it nurture? No, life is nurtured on the ground. The sky will remain a vacant space, devoid of life.

And I will always remember, never trust the sky. Now, I shall seek my rest in the embalming fires of my fallen metal hawk, trusting this one till the very end.

Monday, August 11, 2008

/ 11:33 PM

You Are My Sunshine MMMmmmmmm

There is only someone that I truly love. And today I mistreated her.

And that someone is none other than my bass. Because of my incredible stupidity, I over-tuned the strings and now one of them has SNAPPED. FUCK!!!
So, it pains me very much to see my bass missing a string. No one can fathom how distraught I am now. I just want to run all the way to peninsula plaza RIGHT NOW, and get a new set of strings so I can replace that stupid broken string. But then I remember, that peninsula is CLOSED At NIGHT!! FUCK!!!!!!!

FUCK!!!!!

FUCK!!!!

FUCK!!!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

/ 2:37 PM

Sometimes I Remember...

Maybe sometimes, you will look at an old photo of us and feel at ease. But when you look at a new photo do you realize anything missing? Whose fault is it? Mine? Yours? God's? Maybe its my fault because I pushed you away before realizing what a mistake it was. Maybe its your fault because you are like the rest, changing and moving along with the times. Maybe its God's fault because he made people so fickle.

I never want to change. I want to stand resolute in all my ways. Products change over time, new products come in and their value increases. But I don't care, I only want to see worth in things that remain forever. Everyone remembers the classics and sees that their worth is recognizable, that they are forever. The new songs are just for simpletons. I want to be forever. I never want to change with the times. But I can never say the same for people.

In order to stay with somebody, do we have to change with the times?

People change when they grow older, but I hope I never change.

Then today, I was going through some of your old entries, and thought maybe you moved on and without me because you're like any other person who comes and goes.
But then I saw something you wrote which just made me realize how much I have changed. I want to apologize but how do I bring this up? I was distracted, Delusioned, and so I left you behind and never realized it til now. I always thought I was the one being left behind...

I'm so sorry.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

/ 2:04 AM

The Greatest Success and Failure

There was once a man who wanted success and achievement beyond all things.

Oneday, the man decided he would travel the world. And so he did, Through and forth into different continents. The numerous islands of Polynesia were his stepping stones, the vast, dominating continents were his stalking grounds. After years of travel, he reached the final island where he claimed victory for himself. He went home and told his friends about it. Oh, how they showered him with such praise. How he told them stories of his travel, and how they listened in awe.

Soon after, he decided he would climb the highest mountain. The journey was long and tedious. Initially wading through the tropical heat at the foot, and then inching through the piercing chill of the flanks, and then finally reaching the top. Gazing into panorama, into the pool of clouds that obscured the Tibetan village beneath him, he claimed another glorious victory for himself once again. He then went home and once again, told his friends about it. Oh, how they showered him with such praise. How he told them stories of his travel, and how they listened in awe.

Years later, he decided he would travel to a far away, distant planet without the assistance of an Earth crew. For lightyears, he endured the endless vaccuums of space, which deteriorated his bone and muscle masses, both free from gravity's embrace. From star system to star system, he withstood his patience whence surrounded by the anxiety from the uncertainty in space. Finally, he reached his destination; a barren planet, which, although deserted, was his ultimate victory.

Having endured oblivion after oblivion in the dark recesses of space, he felt that he had accomplished every feat possible, making the most gigantic leap of them all.

But the irony seeped in, when he realized that nobody was there to share in his glory. No one to frolic in the same bout of experience he had gained. No one but himself. Such emptiness, such regret, such....loneliness.

"I did it......", he said. Oh how he wish he could say 'We'.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

/ 1:35 AM

Maybe I'm a Leo
Leonard sat on the pew one fine saturday morning. Dear pew, its been 5 years and you have witnessed everything.
Leonard recalled a passage in the bible where a stone was made to bear witness to any misgivings and transgressions between two men, and then began to wonder how a lifeless object could be sentient enough to bear witness.

Dear pew, you know me better than any of the congregation here, better than the silent God whom I worship. It would have been true if the pew was a person. Leonard loved to sit in the empty chapel on saturday mornings to seek enlightenment; he disliked sunday services because he disliked the congregation, for they didn't help draw any nearer to God. God, it seemed, only appeared to those who walked the narrow path, a lonely path which no two persons could walk side by side. But even if God appeared to Leonard, he could never be too sure, for a man of little faith he was. Dear pew, you know the truth better than I, but you are silent just like the good Lord, as such that I will never know anything.

Every community, every gathering, and God forbid, every church has one: A popular crowd, the in-crowd, the hip-group. Leonard knew this well. He had been in one, which he left after a while because he realized that the only reason that made this bunch hip was the sheer number of gossips they passed around. Gossip. It makes people who spread it seem interesting. It makes the subjects of it look bad. Dear pew, you know what hypocrites are don't you?

Every member of the congregation suscribed to gossip. It made sense because, as Leonard realized, as long as you have charisma, you can spread any shit you like and people will believe you. And true it was, but Leonard never fails to see through it all. It was his reason for not attending service on Sundays, choosing a quiet moment in the emptiness of the chapel on Saturdays when the rest of the church would be in various places drinking and being merry in their drunkeness before their day of repentance the next day. Like a city inhabitant, now jaded by its complexity and putridity, I have decided to move to the outskirts, the suburbs, the countryside where the city's corruption does not reach.

But tomorrow, I'll return to the city and bring with me the judgement of the Most Divine like Moses did after he was exiled from Egypt. Yes, I know God has been silent for a while, but in His silence, He has made me see. Now is the time.

The next day, Leonard pulled out a gun out of a hollowed out bible during service, killing 11 chosen people during the hymn of repentance and forgiveness, saving the very last bullet for himself.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

/ 7:50 AM

Quiz

IN - T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U
4. Had Sex: No
5. Bought something: Yes....
6. Gotten sick?: I think, at the moment, I am constantly sick but have got no clue what I'm suffering from
7. Been hugged?: Yes
8. Felt stupid?: No
9. Talked to an ex: No
10. Missed someone: Yes
11. Failed a test: Yes, I didn't even attend it.
12. Ate cereal: No
13. Danced crazy: Yes, more like imagine I was playing a show though
14. Gotten your hair cut?: Not since 2007 >=P
15. Lied: No, serious

U N I Q U E
16. Nervous habits?: Get easily angry when ghosts are around
18. Can you roll your tongue?: Yes
20. Can you cross your eyes?: No
21. Do you make your bed daily?: NO, It'll be messed up again the next day anyway
22. Do you think you are unique?: Aren't we all?
23. can u snap?: Yes
24. can u whistle?: Yes

H A V E - Y O U - E V E R
23. Said “I Love you”: Yes
24. Given money to a homeless person?: Yes
25. Smoked?: YES!
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: No, more like half a night
27. Snuck out?: Yes
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: Yes

M A N N E R S
29. Do you swear?: Half the time, but I can control
30. Do you ever spit?: Yes, that I am trying to control that
31. You cook your own food?: Yes, sometimes
32. You do your own chores?: Sometimes, but actually, I never hah!
33. You like beef jerky?: Yes
34. Do you like coke or pepsi?: Tastes the same to me
36. You own a dog?: No
37. Do you spend your money wisely?: Actually, I consider it wise enough that I manage to break even every week.
38. Do you like to swim?: Yes
39. When you get bored do you call a friend?: Once in a while I do it
40. Are you patient?: Not very, NOT AT ALL! But I try.

D O - Y O U - P R E F E R
41. flowers or angels?: The thing about angels is that sometimes they are demons in disguise, so flowers I guess
42. gray or black?: Black
43. Color or black and white photos?: Depends on which makes the photo nicer
44. lust or love?: If there is no love, then lust it is.
45. sunrise or sunset?: Sunset
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: Skittles
47. rap or rock?: Rock......Metal =D
48. staying up late or waking up early?: Staying up late
51. left handed or right: Right
52. having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: 2 best friends
53. sunshine or rain?: Rain
54. vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: Vanilla
55. guys or girls?: Both can be told different things

TRUE OR FALSE
I am a cuddler.: False
I am a morning person.: false
I am a perfectionist.: True
I am currently in my PJs.: False
I am currently pregnant.: False.LOL
I am currently single.: True, and glad
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.: Not anymore =P
I am married.: Married to music.
I am addicted to myspace.: True =D
I’m shy around the opposite sex.: False.
I bite my nails: Sometimes I do
I currently regret something I have done.: NO, No regrets. False.
When I get mad I curse.: True
I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guy/girl.: True, but my gut feeling always saves me.
I have been to another country.: True
I have been told that I’m smart.: True, but not very often anymore because I've become dumber by the years.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.: Heeheehee, true.
I have had a broken bone.: False
I have caller ID on my phone: True
I have changed a lot over the past year.: True
I have had surgery.: True
I have killed another person.: I have ruined another person's life, which is probably just as bad.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.: Never, No, No need!
I have had the cops called on me.: False
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.: True =/
I have kissed someone of the same gender.: True, but not in any ways which one would consider gay
I have mood swings.: True nowadays
I have rejected someone before.: False, Instead I pull my pants down and perform a repulsive act.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.: Yes. I mean, True
I have watched Sex and the City.: False
I like Shakespeare.: False, Its cheesy, and does not appeal to me
I love sleeping.: I love sleeping when I'm not supposed to.
I love to shop.: True, but only for things I need.
I miss someone right now.: True.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.: True.
I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White?: False.
I am currently wearing socks.: False
I am tired.: True
I am over this quiz.: True fuck.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

/ 1:48 AM

With Sincere Regards

I've spent the whole day sleeping, woke up for a smoke, went back to sleep, and now I'm fully awake. I had a vivid dream about somebody, whom I shall name as "P". And then I couldn't stop thinking about P. I realized that its been what.... 4 years since we first met?

A friend like P, you can find nowhere else in the world. People change, and even I change, but P never changes. An ever-grateful, ever-appreciating person. Somebody who is worth going the extra mile for. Somebody who really gives a damn about anything, accepted me for who I was at that time, all you can ask for from a friend: Acceptance.

But you know what? I gave all that away. I never realized how much of a friend P was until it was too late. I only realized it today. And when I realized it, I also realized how much I had changed. You may not realize it, but you change. People change. And P has changed too, and has become more distant, only because I changed and could no longer be accepted. So does that mean we're not friends anymore? I can accept that. And I can accept P now when it is too late.

What was I doing 3 years ago? Being an idiot. But, no more. No more being an idiot, no more looking backwards and comparing it with today. Only seizing the day.

So friends, I shall have a smoke on it tonight =)

I think I should visit church again soon.

/ 12:18 AM

An old re-post.
X those which apply.

A

[ ] Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
[ ] Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
[ ] Algophobia - Fear of pain.
[ ] Agoraphobia - Fear of a difficult/embarrassing situation from which you cannot escape.
[ ] Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
[ ] Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
[ ] Androphobia - Fear of men.
[ ] Anginophobia - Fear of choking.
[ ] Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
[x] Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
[ ] Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
[ ] Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
[ ] Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
[x] Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.
[ ] Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
[ ] Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
[ ] Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
[ ] Autophobia - Fear of being alone.

B

[ ] Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
[ ] Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
[ ] Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
[ ] Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
[ ] Belonephobia - Fear of pins and needles.
[ ] Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
[ ] Biphobia - Fear of bisexuals.
[ ] Botanophobia - Fear of plants.

C

[ ] Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
[ ] Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed.
[x] Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
[ ] Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
[ ] Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
[ ] Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
[ ] Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
[ ] Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
[ ] Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
[ ] Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.

D

[ ] Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
[ ] Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
[ ] Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
[ ] Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.

E

[ ] Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
[ ] Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
[ ] Emetophobia - Fear of vomiting.
[ ] Entomophobia - Fear of insects.
[ ] Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
[ ] Equinophobia - Fear of horses.
[ ] Erotophobia - Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.

G

[x] Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
[ ] Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
[x] Gerontophobia - Fear of growing old or a hatred of old people.
[ ] Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
[ ] Gynophobia - Fear of women.

H

[ ] Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
[ ] Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
[ ] Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
[ ] Heterophobia - Fear of heterosexuals.
[ ] Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - Fear of the number 666. <---MADNESS!
[ ] Homophobia- Fear Of Homosexuals
[ ] Hydrophobia - Fear of water.

I

[ ] Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
[ ] Insectophobia - Fear of insects.

K

[ ] Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.

L

[ ] Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
[x] Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
[ ] Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.

M

[ ] Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
[ ] Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
[ ] Microphobia - Fear of small things.
[ ] Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.

N

[ ] Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
[ ] Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.
[ ] Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.

O

[ ] Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.
[ ] Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
[ ] Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
[ ] Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
[ ] Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.
[ ] Ostroconaphobia - Fear of seafood.

P

[ ] Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
[ ] Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
[x] Pedophobia - Fear of children.
[x] Philophobia - Fear of love.
[ ] Phobophobia - Fear of phobias.
[ ] Podophobia - Fear of feet.
[ ] Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
[ ] Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
[ ] Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
[ ] Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.
[ ] Paraskavedekatriaphobia - Fear of Friday the 13th.

S

[x] Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
[ ] Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
[ ] Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
[ ] Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.

T
[ ] Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
[ ] Technophobia - Fear of technology.
[x] Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
[ ] Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.
[ ] Triskaidekaphobia - Fear of the number 13.

V-Z
[ ] Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
[ ] Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
[x] Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
[ ] Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.
[ ] Zoophobia - Fear of animals.

Brings back good times =)
2005 was the best year of my life, and I don't mean the school days. Am I the only one who remembers?

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